


I'll Walk You Home

by KarenHikari



Category: Sala Samobójców | Suicide Room (2011)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 05:57:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4510440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KarenHikari/pseuds/KarenHikari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Because it was not only about walking, or about promising something, whatever it was. It was about the fact that, for once, there was someone walking besides him, someone who would stay by his side no matter what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Walk You Home

**Author's Note:**

> Okay! Hello! So, this idea has been wandering around in my head for a while now, and I finally had time to write it down so here it is.
> 
> Just some rambling about my impression on the movie, you can jump it if you wish: I think that what made Suicide Room such a great movie it's how it portrays things and scenarios to which we want to close our eyes too. I simply loved how Jakub Gierszat took the character. A character that you learn to love and pity and you are hurt by him and by his actions and by everything that happenes around him. Jakub managed to be laughing tauntly while at the very same time you could see such a pained and hurt expression in his features and eyes... It was amazing, I believe.
> 
> So, meanwhile I was enjoying this movie greatly, a part of me knew there was no way it would have a happy ending. And what happens when Karen doesn't like an ending? Right, she writes a fanfic!
> 
> I watched the movie almost a year ago, and this idea took figure exactly while I was watching it, and at first I thought about not writing it, but everytime I watched a video thamed with this movie and I saw the scene in which Dominik is fighting with the chauffer on the cellphone my heart broke a little, until I couldn't avoid it anymore and wrote it down.
> 
> This story takes place between minutes 19:55 and 22:20. Seriously, meanwhile I was crying over that scene I was already making up an alter scenario.
> 
> I think that another reason why this movie buggs me so, so much on an emotional level is that no-one ever noticed how hurt DOminik was, how much he needed someone, a hand, a smile, just... someone... I know that's true for some people but... it's still such a horrible thing to think.
> 
> The poor boy was so desperate and longed so much just for a little understanding, that he would have taken anyone. And since there was no-one kind-hearted enough to lend him a hand he ended up looking for it in Sylvia, when she was far of someone who could help him. It's just... it paines me and it hurts me so much, even after all this time. How could no-one notice? How could no-one care? I'm not even talking about his parents, anyone, why?
> 
> So, read this knowing that it's the result of a pained heart that seriously thinks this boy, fictional and suicidal as he was, deserved a better ending. Deserved someone.
> 
> Some notes that actually are notes:
> 
> *The chauffer has no name, so I gave him the one of Adalbert.
> 
> *A dobok is actually what people that practice taewondo wear.
> 
> I think that sums it up, so I hope you enjoy it!

Aleksander Lubomirski.

His relationship with him had always been strange and hard to define.

He knew for sure he didn't like him. No, he certainly didn't. He thought of him as attractive, maybe, as kind, as sympathetic, but not as a suitable person to couple himself with.

Not until the prom.

It had all started fine. Karolina looked great, really, even if he couldn't find her attractive on a sexual level, she still had a pretty face and some charm. It was after a couple of drinks that the things started to turn out wrong. More specifically, it had been after the kiss with Aleks that the things certainly turned out wrong.

Until then he had been able to fool himself into thinking that he only found Aleks attractive as a statement. The boy was handsome, and there was simply no denying to that, but he just couldn't feel anything more than a strong friendship towards him. It was simply wrong.

And yet… When they had kissed, Aleks' tongue curled around his, his lips slowly and tenderly being bitten by him, the way Aleks had applied pressure on the back of his neck, pulling him closer and forcing him deeper into the kiss… It hadn't felt wrong, it had felt the exact opposite, actually: right, meant to be, perfect.

Until, of course, it had ended.

Ever since then, the simple sight of Aleksander Lubomirski had been enough to make him nervous and to either drop his heart rate or fasten it, maybe both at once, impossible as it sounded.

It was not helping that Aleks had continued acting as if nothing had happened, as if nothing was wrong–maybe a little more cheekily towards him, just to keep on with the show, as ones may say, but all in all, he simply continued to act normally towards him.

And, even if he knew Aleks was just acting for the delight of others… it still made Dominik's knees go weak.

Neither was it helping that they were currently training together. No, that was certainly not being useful at all to forget the little prom's incident.

And it especially was not helping the fact that the martial arts' professor had decided that they would work together.

It was usually hard to keep your mind on the training thing when your opponent was someone like Aleksander Lubomirski on a regular basis, let alone if you were already dealing with weakened knees and a choked breathing.

Aleks was much stronger than Dominik was, and his body was a lot more build-up than his.

It was not doing any good that instead of focusing on the attacks and counterattack or planning a strategy Dominik was rather busy admiring Aleks' strong body.

The first time Aleks charged at him and had him lying on rough floor was easy to explain: Dominik had been looking into his eyes, trying to decipher what exact shade of brown they were instead of seeing the attack coming.

The second time Aleks attacked him and defeated him was also easy to explain: he had been scanning his features, trying to remember every single detail in then, from his broad forehead to his pronounced jawline. Never had they been this close, except for the kiss, but that didn't count as observing-and-memorizing work because at that moment Dominik had been a lot busier feeling Aleks' soft lips and tongue on his to even notice his handsome face.

Just like the previous time he simply found himself lying on the floor before he even had time to register what was happening.

The third time was probably a lot lamer. The white dobok Aleks was wearing had started to open itself more than it should have, revealing Aleks' well-built abs, and maybe even a little more. Dominik had been far too distracted to even take note of the imminent attack Aleks would send towards him.

The fourth and last time Dominik found himself on the floor was his ruin.

This time, he had forced himself to be aware of Aleks' movements and fighting strategies instead of his body, which resulted in him being prepared for the attack instead of simply receiving it.

Not strong enough, he thought to himself as he stumbled to the ground again. Aleks was way stronger than him, and not even strategy or anticipation could change that fact.

However, Dominik was already tired of being defeated with such ease, so he decided to give some fight instead of simply lying helplessly on the ground, even if the results would be the same.

They rolled on the floor once, twice, three times, maybe even more, with both boys trying to place himself on top of the other and immobilize him.

It did not take long for Dominik's already sick and wicked mind to twist everything again in a matter of seconds.

Aleks' face was flushed with effort and so, so close to his that he could feel his hot breath blow on his cheeks and nose and lips before becoming cold. He could feel Aleks' strong arms forcing him to the ground, Aleks' hips brushing against his inner thigh rather violently, the way Aleks seemed so concentrated in winning that he didn't even notice how close they were and how their bodies touched each other in so many different spots.

It was then that Dominik noticed that he was not even fighting back anymore, let alone trying to win this stupid training fight. He was not paying any attention to the match now. He was only focused on the strong body placed firmly over his own, and to whom that body belonged to.

And then it happened. It simply happened. He hadn't planned it, he hadn't wanted it. It simply happened.

He had a complete and full erection. Just then and there where something like that was completely unacceptable and out of place. Just then and there where it was more than noticeable. A stupid erection and then the fucking outcome, an ejaculation. A fucking erection, sure, why hadn't he seen this coming?

It was not the first time he thought it, but this certainly was the biggest demonstration of it being truth: he was a complete and utter fuck up.

Upon noticing his little issue, Aleks rolled on to his side, freeing Dominik from the weight of his body until the boy could finally stand straight again.

It was just then that Dominik realized. He was laughing. Aleks was laughing.

"Fucking hell" he muttered, smiling as if it were nothing to be worried about, but rather something that could be taken with an easy-going demeanor.

Breathing hardly and not sure if he was mad or just ashamed about what had happened, Dominik forced himself to his feet, storming out of the room as fast as his feet could carry him, not even daring to look into Aleks' eyes.

Little did he know, however, that Aleks felt just as ashamed and confused, even if his way of showing it was by laughing awkwardly in an attempt to cut the ice and to play the matter down, which proved useless given that soon enough Dominik had already left the room, leaving Aleks as clueless as ever, still sitting on the floor.

When Dominik finally reached the showers he had managed to steady his breathing, even if his pupils were still unfocused and his hands shook.

He rapidly disembarrassed himself of the dobok he was wearing and changed into his usual clothes: skinny jeans and a worn-off t-shirt with trembling hands.

It was only then that he realized he needed to talk to his chauffeur, Adalbert, and ask him to pick him up. The faster, the better, he thought as his long fingers clicked the well-known number on the cellphone.

"Hello, can you pick me up?" he blurted out as soon as Adalbert picked up.

"But you only finish in an hour…" the man started to say insecurely.

"But I've finished now" Dominik pointed out sharply. "Pick me up now. Where are you?"

"I'm on the other side of the city…" Adalbert said, his voice bordering boredom.

"Where are you?" Dominik repeated sternly.

"I can be there in an hour" Adalbert stated. In an hour, of course, Dominik thought. In an hour, in a minute, in a day, in a month–never. Why not now, right when he needed someone? Why not now, when he desperately needed to live this god-forgotten place?

"But I've finished now, understand? When will you come? In 10 minutes?" he asked coldly, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"We have a schedule, a plan for the day–" Adalbert started to say, only to have Dominik cutting him off. A schedule, of course they had a schedule, a schedule which only reason for existing was to pinpoint when he was the Santorskis son and when he was just a burden someone had to deal with.

"I know the plan, fuck the plan! I know this fucking plan by heart!" he screamed, while both his voice and body started trembling so hardly it became difficult for him just to hold the phone in his hand.

He didn't know what he was saying anymore, and most importantly, he didn't care, because all he could really think at the moment was that he was saying the truth.

"You are to be here, waiting for me! You're to wait for me, you're to be here for me! Fuck! You're to watch over me, to stay with me all the time!" he screamed into the phone, his eyes covered in tears he hadn't realized were coming, his features contorted in pain and madness.

On the other side of the phone, Adalbert tried talking, but in vain.

"Fine! Have it your way!" he screamed, not even caring his voice was coming out so loud that someone might hear him. "I'm going home alone! Do you hear me? ALONE!" he shouted just as he hung the phone and before he even knew what he was doing, he sent the electronic device flying, making it crash into the lockers placed around the room.

He was openly crying now, his hands turned into fists at his side, his nails digging deeply into the flesh of his palms as he walked from one side of the room to the other, in a useless attempt to calm himself down, if even a bit. His tears blurred his vision and it was hard for him to breathe through his nose, which only resulted in him taking deep intakes of air through his lips, same that burned his mouth and that didn't quite seem to be reaching his lungs, since his breathing was still labored and forced.

He was far beyond upset. He was so frustrated, so psyched out that the only thing he could really think of was how bad he wanted to punch someone in the face, to destroy something, maybe even himself, if given the chance. And yet… he could also feel some kind of bitter emptiness in his chest… some kind of cold that sent chills down his spine and naked arms.

«Loneliness» he thought suddenly. He felt lonely, alone, forsaken, abandoned. Left behind. Passed by. Not important enough to alter a goddamned schedule once–for him.

And that was all it took for him to finally break down crying, to finally stop trying to refrain the tears that had built itself up in his eyes, his fists going up to his eyes in an attempt to dry them, until he recognized it as useless and finally let his hands fall to his sides, wrapping them around himself, dry, heart-breaking sobs making its way through his throat and out of his mouth.

It was then that he heard footsteps behind him. Upon all the intelligent things he could have thought of, all that came to his mind was 'Fuck'.

He tried to steady his breathing, he tried to stop his tears, he tried to breathe normally, to control the sobs, to hold his breath–but everything came out as useless.

Lastly, what brought him back from his shameful attempts to stop his pathetic form from crying was a sharp intake of breath behind him. He didn't even dare to turn over his shoulder.

"My prince" said the one and only voice he didn't want to hear at the moment. "Are you alright?"

Had he mentioned he couldn't properly breathe? Well, now he couldn't breathe at all. A dark shade of red covered his cheeks almost immediately, and Dominik wasn't sure if it was due to the lack of oxygen in his system or because of Aleks' closeness.

"Dominik" Aleks tried again, drawing his right arm over the boy's shoulders in an attempt to bring his attention to him, only to have it shrugged off.

"Don't touch me!" Dominik hissed trough his gritted teeth. Slowly, not really wanting to, Aleks retracted his arm, his brow furrowed in concern.

They stayed in an icy silence for a moment, with only Dominik's ragged breathing to be heard. Finally, Dominik managed to get a hold of himself, a hold strong enough to allow him to talk again.

"Say it!" he suddenly snapped at Aleks, with a trembling voice. "Go ahead and say it! Laugh at me! Tell me just how fucking pathetic I am!" he muttered, his voice drifting off, interrupted by strong shudders that ran down his back, making his whole body shake.

Aleks looked at him half in confusion and half in pity.

It was then that Dominik's breathing became even more labored. He couldn't breathe, couldn't even remember how he was supposed to do such a thing. He knew breathing was important, there was a reason why he needed to breathe–he just couldn't remember it anymore.

Wait–breathing was life, right? He needed to breathe in order to stay alive, that's why it was so important for him to actually breathe, to get new, fresh air into his lungs, but he just couldn't remember how he was supposed to do so. And further most, he wasn't even sure he actually wanted to breathe again at the moment, and meanwhile he was trying to solve that dilemma of his, all he could actually do was strain with strangled hiccups that were not enough to get the air halfway to his chest.

Aleks, upon noticing how abnormal Dominik's breathing –and therefor lack of it– was being he finally decided to take a step to the front, gripping the boy's left shoulder and forcing him to turn and face him, cupping his chin in his hands and lifting it so that their eyes finally met. Dominik's eyes were covered in utter fear, his face contorted in hurt and pain. Dominik was hyperventilating, trying as hardly as he could to breathe through his mouth, but he was failing, Aleks' noticed as he took Dominik's right hand and placed it on top of his chest.

"Breathe with me, Dominik" he ordered softly, and yet with a commanding tone. "In, out. In, out."

If anything, the feeling of Aleks' naked chest under his hand only worsened Dominik's state for a second or two at least.

"In, out" Aleks repeated, exaggerating his own breathing in favor of the other boy to notice how his chest was supposed to lift and then fall again and catch up with him.

Slowly, warily, Dominik managed to follow Aleks' rhythm.

"In, out" Aleks whispered softly once he saw Dominik had actually started breathing somewhat normally again.

"Do it. Just do it" Dominik said quietly, turning his gaze to the floor after the intakes of air actually made it to his breathing system, his voice shaking so much it was hard to make out what he had just said.

As soon as the words left his lips and without him even noticing, he started crying again, big, crystal tears rolling down his cheeks and to the floor.

"It's okay, Dominik. It's okay" Aleks interrupted him softly, wrapping his arms around the shaking form of the boy, much to Dominik's surprise.

The boy's body instantly stiffened, expecting Aleks to punch him, to yell at him, anything but to show him some kind of affection. Anything but what was happening.

Slowly, as if he were forcing himself to, Dominik's body started to relax against Aleks' strong frame.

When he was finally sure Dominik was breathing normally again and still holding the boy tightly to his chest, Aleks bent down over his knees, forcing Dominik to do the same so they were sitting on the ground, with Aleks' back leaning against the lockers that covered the room's walls and Dominik sitting in his lap, Aleks' arms around his shoulders, forcing Dominik's head into the crook of his neck.

Finally, after staying in that position for maybe ten minutes, when Aleks was positive that Dominik was not crying anymore and had most certainly gotten an actual hold of himself, he pulled back.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted before" he said, trying to choose his words carefully, as if not to cause another reaction like the previous from the boy.

However, instant panic and alarm took over Dominik's features, giving clue of just how unwelcoming it was for him to even bring the matter up.

"Don't" he hissed sternly. "It was a mistake. It shouldn't have happened".

"It was an accident" Aleks pointed out calmly; to his surprise, a twisted smile made its way to Dominik's lips. His eyes looked like shattered glass just before he drew back his head, laughing maniacally.

"An accident, wasn't it?" he spat at Aleks, still laughing, although his expression was contorted with pain and longing. "Of course. Feelings are accidents. I'm an accident. A mistake. What makes this any different?" he said, shaking, his eyes gleaming furiously with hurt and madness.

Hold it there, Aleks thought, had Dominik just mentioned feelings? Hadn't it been an accident? Well, not one as he first thought it to be, apparently, but an accident that had reacted to Dominik's deepest feelings and desires? Was it why this whole thing had been so hard for the boy?

Oh, shit, Aleks thought, how much of a fuck up he was.

"Dominik, listen to me" he ordered again, cupping Dominik's face in his right hand. "Please listen to me" he repeated as he saw the boy was about to interrupt him. "It's okay, my prince, it's okay" he promised softly, drawing soothing circles in the boy's back, much to Dominik's surprise

Slowly, as if not to scare him more, Aleks leaned down, first brushing his lips softly against Dominik's, giving him a last chance to escape if this wasn't what he wanted just before he dared to deepen the kiss.

For a moment, Dominik didn't even react to it, too surprised to respond Aleks' actions, but just when Aleks was about to pull back and apologize for having gotten the wrong signals, Dominik's hands moved to his neck, forcing him back down and to his lips again.

It was a passionate kiss, almost a savage one, one that hid need and fear and pain. Aleks was the one leading it, as with the previous one, his tongue curling up around Dominik's, biting the boy's lower lip slightly.

It was much sweeter that the last kiss they'd shared, with no-one holding up a camera at them while screaming and without the alcohol's bitter taste in their mouths–just the two of them.

When they finally pulled apart, they were both breathing hard, and this time the lack of oxygen in their systems came from quite the opposite of a panic attack and hyperventilation.

"I haven't stopped thinking of you since the prom either" Aleks finally said, brushing a couple of dark bangs away from Dominik's eyes fondly.

The boy's body immediately tensed up in what could have been fear or confusion, Aleks wasn't fully sure.

"It's wrong. It's completely wrong" Dominik muttered, breaking eye contact as he turned his beautiful eyes to the floor.

Aleks grimaced slightly.

"Dominik" he called out softly, and the boy had to recognize that even if he knew just how wrong feeling attracted to another guy was he still felt tempted to look at his own reflection in those sinfully gorgeous deep-brown eyes.

Between those two options –feeling miserable for himself or just take a look into Aleks' features– it was not hard to realize which one did he finally followed.

"It's going to be alright, Dominik" Aleks promised, looking directly into the boy's eyes. "C'mere" he offered softly, opening both of his arms in his direction.

Dominik could still hear the buzzing tone of the accusations and harsh comments towards gay people that he was oh-so used to listen at in his own house, and from the mouths of his very own parents ringing in his ears, and yet–looking into Aleks' loving eyes… everything that was not the boy right in front of him seemed far, far away… unreal, inexistent.

Slowly, warily, he leaned down, nestling his head into the space between Aleks' neck and left shoulder.

Both of them sighed in relief slowly, as if they had been holding up their breaths, unsure of what would happen next, as if they still didn't quite believe what was happening.

"It's still wrong, Aleks" Dominik pointed out after a while, forcing himself to pull back.

Instead of becoming mad or whatever Dominik might have expected him to do, Aleks simply smiled at him tenderly.

"Everything at its time, my prince, everything at its time" he said, stroking Dominik's left cheek fondly. "For now let's get a shower and I'll walk you home right after, okay?" he concluded, as he leaned down to press a soft kiss into Dominik's forehead.

It was just that–a chaste kiss placed there only to seal out a promise; the silent promise that he would forever stand by his side.

He then pulled himself to his feet, offering a hand to Dominik right after.

Said and done, that night Aleksander Lubomirski and Dominik Santorski left the martial arts school holding hands as they headed to Dominik's house, the first of many other nights, just as Aleks had promised.

Because it was not only about walking, or about promising something, whatever it was. It was about the fact that, for once, there was someone walking besides him, someone who would stay by his side no matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> So, what do you think now that it's here?
> 
> Seen this awesome movie? What do you think about it? Please let me know in the comments!
> 
> Love you all, and please stay strong!


End file.
